5 REASONS WHY I REGRETTED WORKING ABROAD

At the end of the school year, I often find myself regretting my decision to be an overseas Filipino worker (OFW). This feeling intensifies when my children tell me, "Mama, ga-graduate po akong kasama sa with honours."  And it truly warms my heart. I want to be there in person to witness them receive their awards, wrap my arms around them, and tell them how proud I am of their achievements. Unfortunately, I can’t come home due to the long travel and expenses involved. It tears me apart to see their sad faces during video calls, and it's particularly upsetting that all I can do is look at their photographs as the days go by.

So, when I say I regret working abroad, it's a complex feeling. Let me explain further my emotions with five reasons. 

5 Reasons Why I Regretted Working Abroad 

1. In my role as a caregiver or a practical nurse, I dedicate my time attending to the needs of other families, preparing meals, monitoring health conditions and feeding other kids—other sisters and brothers, other moms and dads, other grandmothers and grandfathers. But I never get the chance to care for my own family, spend quality time with them, or have meaningful conversations.

2. While I engage in activities and support the growth of other children, I have missed the precious moments of playing with my own kids or taking them to school and preparing their lunchboxes. I am absent during their special occasions, like birthdays and school meetings, their recognition and graduation. I'm not there to support them when they encounter challenges when they are sick, and when they are crying. I'm not there to defend them when they face bullying, and it’s a heavy weight to carry, and yet I can't do anything. 

3. I take pride in teaching other children about their academic lessons and instilling good manners. However, I regret that I have not been able to provide the same level of guidance and support to my own children. I let them learn on their own, take care of themselves and be responsible at a young age. Although I’ve shared important life lessons about right and wrong, I have not had the opportunity to witness how they apply that knowledge in their lives.

4. I enjoy engaging in extended conversations, sharing jokes and laughter and building relationships with other parents and children. Unfortunately, it’s a different story when it comes to my own family. The only way I can connect with my kids, siblings and father is through text messages or brief phone calls and video calls, which are limited by the time difference and work schedule conflicts. 

5. I encourage other families to have moments together and spend quality time with one another, but I can't do the same for my own family. It’s disheartening to be alone during Christmas and New Year. I feel envious when I see others' family photos on social media. I quietly cry when I'm unable to be there for my kids when they receive awards at school. I envy my sisters who are there for my children during important milestones. I envy them because I miss being present for those special moments and can only share them through video calls.  I regret working abroad when I cannot provide the love and care my family deserves; The pain inside me feels unhealable over time.

But also, as I reflect on my journey as an overseas Filipino worker (OFW), I feel a strong sense of pride. So in my roles as a daughter, sister and mother working abroad, I've come to understand that family should always be the top priority. Yes, it's challenging to be away from my loved ones, but I am dedicated to ensuring that family remains my focus, regardless of the distance. And I know that the sacrifices I make serve a greater purpose. I trust that they see the value of my hard work and use it to pursue their own success. Although I may not be present for every moment of their lives, my unwavering support is always with them. I am confident that my efforts will empower them to achieve their dreams.