MORE THAN A LOVER

THE LOVE I THOUGHT I WANTED, THE FRIEND I TRULY NEEDED 

Love has a way of teaching us lessons we never asked for.

Sometimes it breaks us, sometimes it heals us, and sometimes—it surprises us in the most unexpected people.

We often believe love is about falling head over heels, about Marriage and happily ever afters. But life taught me something different.  Love can exist beyond romance.  It can live in loyalty,  in laughter,  in presence, in the rare bond of a best friend.  This is why my story is called More than a lover

This is the story of how I chased the idea of love, only to discover its truest form in the heart of a friend.

If you asked me years ago what  my greatest dream was,  I would have said, to marry  the man  I love. No arrangements,  no compromises  but just pure love. But life had other plans.  It brokes me, healed me, and gave me a kind of love I never expected. The love of a friend who became more  than a lover. And this is my story.

THE LOVE I THOUGHT I WANTED

When Raven courted me, I thought I had fallen in love.

I was so eager to experience love, to finally know what it felt like to have someone choose me.

This handsome man had set his eyes on me, and I told myself, “Great! This is it.

Almost all of my friends had ended up in arranged marriages. And I swore to myself I would never let that happen to me. I wanted something real. I wanted to marry the man I loved.

I even dreamed of the day I’d tell my grandchildren, when I was old and gray, “No, my marriage wasn’t arranged. I fell in love first, then got married. Our love grew naturally.”

Back then, I thought that would be my greatest achievement.

Sometimes what we think is our “greatest achievement” turns out to be just a picture in our mind, not the reality of our heart.

THE BREAKING OF ILLUSIONS 

The first time I found out Raven was cheating on me, I was terrified.

I had poured my heart into this relationship, and the thought of it breaking apart just like that—so easily—scared me.

I wanted this relationship to last until the day I died.

So, I fought for it.

I tried so hard to keep us intact. Even when people whispered stories about him being with other women, I chose to shut my ears. I closed my eyes.

“I won’t give up,” I told myself. “I can make this work.”

But the truth is, I was losing myself.

I wasn’t living my own life anymore—I was living under his will, his expectations.

And then, I woke up.

I realized I didn’t love him. Not really.

What I loved was the idea of love—the fantasy of it, the dream, the pride of saying I had done it my way.

I wasn’t saving love. I was saving my pride.

And Raven knew I was scared. That’s why he grew so bold, so confident. He thought no matter what he did, I would still marry him.

But he was wrong.

I didn’t want to marry him anymore.

When I resigned from my job, it wasn’t sudden—it was planned. I didn’t even tell Raven, or my parents, until a week before the wedding. Quietly, I searched for work abroad, determined to leave and forget everything.

That was the first real step I took to free myself.

Love is not blindness. If you have to close your ears and eyes just to keep it, then it’s not love—it’s fear.

AN UNEXPECTED VOICE

One afternoon, I was sitting on a big rock by the sea, lost in thought about everything I had gone through. My pen slipped from my fingers and fell into the water. As I leaned forward to reach it, I heard a man’s voice behind me:

“Hey! Don’t do that!”

I ignored him and stretched further. But before I could grab my pen, strong hands pulled me back by the waist.

I spun around, glaring—my defense mechanism to keep men away.

“What’s your problem? Mind your own business!”

“I can’t,” he said firmly. “I thought you were trying to end your life. I couldn’t just stand here and let that happen.”

“Suicide? Me? Oh my! No. I was just trying to get my pen.”

He looked at me closely, as if searching my eyes for the truth. And though I was annoyed, I felt something strange—something I couldn’t explain.

So, I pushed him away and walked off.

Later that night, I sat on my hotel balcony, strumming my guitar. Music, like poetry, had always been my way of releasing emotions I couldn’t say out loud.

And then, I heard the same voice again.

“Wow. Beautiful song.”

I turned. There he was again, clapping his hands.

“You again?” I started, but he interrupted with a smile.

“Please, don’t be upset. I didn’t mean to intrude. It’s just… the way you sing, it soothed me. I couldn’t help but want to know you. My name is Dee Lancy Buenaventura. Call me Lance.”

I sighed. “Okay. I’m Lheandra.”

His face lit up like a child’s, and I couldn’t help but laugh. For the first time in years, a stranger had made me laugh. And maybe, just maybe, that was the start of something I didn’t know I needed.

Sometimes, healing doesn’t come in the form of silence. Sometimes, it arrives in the voice of a stranger who refuses to walk away.

THE FRIENDSHIP THAT CHANGED ME

Eight years passed, and Lance became my closest friend.

He was honest. He never sugarcoated anything—whether it was good or bad, he spoke his truth. And maybe that’s why I trusted him so deeply.

He was always there for me—protective, dependable, the kind of friend who showed up exactly when I needed him. More than once, he even chased away suitors who made me uncomfortable. Without asking, he just knew.

He was like my bodyguard, my partner-in-crime. I could enter his house, even his room, without question. His parents treated me like family.

He once saved me at an office party where I had worn an evening gown paired with sneakers. People laughed behind my back, but Lance stood by me all night, making sure I never felt ashamed.

We were like two kids, and his parents would just shake their heads at our silliness.

But then came the day he told me he was getting married. To Trisha.

And that news… cut me into pieces.

I didn’t want to feel that way, but I couldn’t help it. I realized then that I loved him. More deeply than a lover, more deeply than I ever admitted to myself.

But I wanted him to be happy. Even if it broke me.

Friendship is a beautiful cage—it protects you, but it also keeps you from flying into places you secretly long for.

THE SILENCE OF SICKNESS 

When I found out I was sick, I withdrew again.

I resigned from work and stayed at a friend’s beach house, hiding from the world. I didn’t answer calls. I didn’t meet anyone. Not even Lance.

But of course, he found me.

“Why did you disappear, Lhean? Did I do something wrong?” he asked, his voice breaking.

I couldn’t look at him. Finally, I whispered,

“I’m dying, Lance. I don’t know when—tomorrow, next month, next year. But I know it’s coming.”

He shook his head, tears in his eyes.

“You should have told me. You don’t get to decide what’s good for me. We’re best friends. I thought you knew me better than that.”

I broke down.

“I don’t want my family to treat me like I’m fragile again. Please… don’t tell them. Let me live these days as myself.”

He pulled me into his arms.

“Then I’ll carry this with you. We’ll pray together. I won’t leave you, not now, not ever.”

Illness teaches you who your true people are. Not the ones who stand at a distance, but the ones who step into your pain and carry it with you.

SAD PARTING

Later, Lance found one of my poems. My most personal one.

Sad Parting

What is the use,

if I tell you how much I love you?

What is the use,

if I tell you that I miss you every minute of the day?

What is the use,

if I tell you your love is all I need?

What is the use of proving you are my everything…

my life…

when there is no time for us to share?

No time to be together,

no time to feel each other’s love and care.

I’m losing hope.

I’m starting to let go of my dreams,

because I know I can’t be with you.

I’ll never have the chance to hold you.

Oh dear, I’m hoping,

I’m wishing,

I’m praying that before I leave,

I can see you face to face.

Not to say goodbye,

but to thank you—for being the one who gave me strength.

It’s hard for me to go.

It’s hard for me to leave this world,

without telling you how much you mean to me.

How much I love you.

So I’ll keep you here, in my heart.

Please don’t cry. Don’t be sad.

Smile for me.

I’ll carry that smile wherever I go.

From heaven, I’ll watch over you.

Because you are the love of my life.

And don’t ever forget—

I love you so much.

When Lance read it, I saw him crying. He hugged me so tightly, and though I pretended to sleep, I couldn’t hold back my own tears.

That night, we cried together.

Because friendship—true friendship—has no limits, no boundaries. It is bound by trust, love, and a connection deeper than most lovers will ever know.

Some people may not believe it, but it’s true:

you can love your best friend more than a lover.

Sometimes the deepest love story is not the one where you end up together, but the one where you remain bound by something even stronger—friendship that lasts beyond life itself.

✨ Author’s Note ✨

Writing this story felt like opening a diary I had kept hidden in my heart. It carries both my pain and my joy, my losses and my lessons.

This is not a story of romance fulfilled.

It is a story of how love broke me, how friendship healed me, and how life, in its mystery, gave me a love that wasn’t mine to keep—but was mine to treasure forever.

 If you’ve ever felt broken, or loved someone in silence, I hope you find comfort in knowing you’re not alone. Love doesn’t always look like the fairytales we dream of—sometimes, it’s quieter, deeper, and more enduring. Sometimes, it’s more than a lover. 💙

If you are reading this and feel broken, please remember:

love comes in many forms. Sometimes it’s a lover, sometimes it’s a friend, and sometimes it’s the strength you find within yourself.

And if you ever meet someone like  Lance—hold them close.

Because rare souls like that… they are love itself.

✨ About Me ✨

Hi, I’m Mari Felices. I write about love, heartbreak, and the quiet lessons life teaches us along the way. My words are pieces of my soul—sometimes poetic, sometimes raw, but always honest. If even one person finds comfort in my story, then my writing has done its purpose. 💙